What Differentiation in Personal Branding Actually Looks Like

You can build a brand that people trust completely and still watch the right clients walk past you. Not because your message is wrong. Not because your work isn't good. Because when everything looks the same, people can't find you in the crowd.

Most women building a personal brand focus on being authentic, and that matters. But authenticity alone makes you believable. It doesn't make you the obvious choice. Differentiation is what closes that gap, and it shows up in ways most people aren't thinking about, including how you look when someone finally meets you in person.

In this episode of The Visibility Shift, I'm walking through what differentiation actually means in personal branding, what it isn't, and why so many women avoid it even when they know it's costing them. I share stories from two clients whose presence wasn't matching their message, and what changed when it did.

3:36 – What uniqueness is not

6:25 – Visual presence as a reflection of unique value (with client examples)

13:20 – A very real truth that blocks differentiation

15:29 – Costs of avoiding uniqueness in your brand

18:37 – The interplay between authenticity and differentiation

Mentioned In What Differentiation in Personal Branding Actually Looks Like

What Authentic Personal Branding Actually Looks Like

Why Sticking to One Signature Color Can Hold Your Personal Brand Back

Stop Dressing to Fit In and Start Showing Up Authentically

How Jessie Spressart Went From Blending In to Being Herself

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Transcript

Welcome to The Visibility Shift, the podcast where style becomes your most powerful strategy for being seen, standing out, and leading boldly. I'm Ellie Steinbrink, stylist and personal brand coach, and if you've ever thought, "My style just isn't working anymore," take this as your sign. You're ready for your next level. And instead of launching into a panicked shopping spree, what you really need is a strategy. A style strategy that reflects where you're headed, not who you used to be or who you think you need to be to fit in.

Because when your style aligns with your brand and your vision, everything shifts. You lead with more presence, you attract the right opportunities and clients, and you fully step into the woman you're becoming. Because showing up as yourself, that's the most strategic thing you can do. Now let's get visible.

Welcome back to another episode of The Visibility Shift. Last week, we talked about authenticity as one of the core elements of a great brand, and more specifically, a personal brand. This week, we're going to continue on in this series. Before we dive in quickly, let's get a little refresher on that first pillar of authenticity. Authenticity is all about the integrity of your brand. It's the who behind the brand, ensuring that your actions, your values, your promises align over time. It's the believability of your brand.

This week, we're going to pivot and talk about the second core element, which is uniqueness or differentiation. So differentiation is about how you stand out from the crowd. It's the what or the why that makes you different. Another way to parse out the two would be to think of it like this: while authenticity helps people trust you, differentiation helps them choose you. Because great brands, they aren't just believable, they also stand apart.

So let's dig into this. Uniqueness literally means being one of a kind, unparalleled, distinct from all the others. Essentially, you are standing apart. Now, every brand, whether we're talking corporate environment or thinking of yourself as a personal brand, has to answer this question: Why should someone choose me or you over someone else or another company? It's not just because you're a nice person. It's not just because you've had years of schooling or you have certifications, but because you have a unique approach or a perspective or way of doing things that differs in a way that matters.

This is what is commonly referred to as competitive advantage in companies. But for personal branding, I think it can be difficult to really understand how to take this and run with it, especially when we're talking about in the vein of style. But for personal branding, your competitive advantage is what makes you, you. But then we have to go a step further and think about another aspect of your uniqueness. It isn't just about what makes you you or your process different or your approach different, but how that then shows up visually so that when you show up, that differentiation is felt in your presence. Quite honestly, this is a part that I think is very commonly overlooked and missed.

Before we talk about what uniqueness is, I think it's sometimes helpful to talk about what uniqueness is not. From a personal branding standpoint, it is commonly misunderstood that uniqueness is about picking a bold color and only wearing that color because we've been taught that that is a core element of a brand and it's a way we stand out, right? It's the way we look for products on a shelf. We associate brands with certain colors. Now, I actually had an entire podcast that talked about color as it relates to your brand. So if you're interested in diving way deeper on that topic, go refer back to that episode. But color, while it is important to communicate an essence about your brand, it isn't the sole lever we can pull on.

Even just give the example of a lot of women in the entrepreneurial space or speaker realm wear pink, hot pink to be more specific. Maybe 10 years ago, that was a really groundbreaking way to show up, like a very highly feminine way to show up when all of the speakers were mostly men. So it was a little bit groundbreaking. But now, as more and more women enter and become high-profile speakers, it has become less groundbreaking. It feels like that is a color that you see everywhere. So remember, uniqueness isn't just put into a particular color. A color can communicate aspects of your uniqueness, but it isn't just solely picking a color that is what makes you unique.

Uniqueness is also not trying to look eccentric for the sake of attention or what I would refer to as performing, basically putting on a version of yourself for the show. This can put off not only a fake presence but a presence that feels like you're trying to prove something. And I know this is a really fine line because when we go to events or when we speak, we want to up the ante. But when that gets into a performative space, that is not going to be read as unique or believable. Or maybe what I should say is that maybe it will be unique, but then it won't be complemented with the believability piece. So we'll talk about that actually a little bit more later in the show.

Another thing about uniqueness and what it is not, it's not following someone else's rules or following suit when it comes to how you dress. Now, if you've been here, if you've been listening, you know this is something I talk about at length here on the podcast and where we can really get stuck when it comes to defining our personal brand. Because looking around to get a sense of how we should dress is not a way to make yourself unique. It's a way to make yourself fit in.

Uniqueness is really about asking first, and this is something you would have to do just for your own understanding of why someone would choose you over another company or another coach or whatever your role is, what do I do that only I can do? And then, does my presence reflect that? If you're saying, "Well, not really," then you might change the question to say, what could I wear that would better reflect and align with what makes me unique?

Again, this is where I think we forget that this is an important element when we're thinking about our brand, that yes, while we have to think about our marketing and our branding and our messaging and our content, we also have to think about then what does our presence look like when someone finally meets us? Let's say they just read about you online and now they come and see you. How does that brand come into full picture, clear picture? Does it make sense in their mind after they've learned about who you are and what makes you you and how your approach is different when they meet you? Is there alignment there?

Now, I know this can be hard to process from a very theoretical level. So let's take it down to some practical, real-life examples. Take my client, Julie, who's actually going to be coming up here in a few weeks featured on the podcast, so look forward to that. Julie's entire message, she's a speaker and an author, and her entire message is about rewiring how people think about networking, not as a necessary evil, which is, I'm raising my hand, I've always really hated networking, if I'm honest, but as a process by which we meet our most amazing contacts.

Yes, her message is bold because I think many of us think about networking and there's a bit of a cringe feeling. There are some people out there who just adore it, but I think for most people, I think I speak honestly that it feels not fun. Her approach in and of itself is really bold. The way she attacks this and flips this idea of networking is not ick, but fun and beneficial and even enlivening. That's really bold.

Then, if you ever get a chance to meet her or if you follow her online or you see her speak, you're going to realize pretty quickly this boldness is matched in her energy. Her humor is off the charts. And in her marketing, it's just a common thread. So when she speaks, would she wear something expected and boring? No.

You'll hear this in our conversation that when we first met, yes, she was wearing a fun sparkly sneaker, but she was always matching it with a black sheath dress. She had told me that really there were pieces of her energy and boldness coming out in her outfits, but it wasn't full stop. After we worked together and we really identified there was this gap between this element of her brand and her presence, we amped it up. We matched that energy and the uniqueness that she brings to her brand in her outfits.

One of my favorite outfits that we found for her was this tailored short suit that was bright orange. This is groundbreaking. Why? Well, for one, orange is hands down a color that is always at the do-not-like list when I have my clients fill out their questionnaire. Hands down, it's orange or it's yellow or it's brown. Most hated by most women. So in and of itself, choosing a color like that is pretty bold.

Secondly, there's this quiet but firm rule in the speaking world that you do not wear short skirts. It's practical in the sense that, well, if you're speaking on a stage, you're elevated. You don't want the people in the first rows to see up your skirt. But it's just like this rule that no one ever broke. But I knew a tailored short suit would be perfect for her. It would break some rules. It would still be appropriate. No one's seeing up her shorts. But here she was breaking rules in her messages. Now, once we matched her dress to that level, she was breaking rules in her dress. All of this was working in tandem, and it made her more believable for sure, but it also made her stand out.

That's the difference between "looking nice" and having a personal brand. Because you could hire me if you just want me to help you look nice or look more professional. If you're a business owner, speaker, or entrepreneur, that really isn't the goal here.

Another example would be my client Erin. Her message was all about relatability and making complex messages in the financial world easier to understand. Over the years, she has debunked tradition in how things have always been talked about, how things have always been explained. It was always at another level that made it difficult for people to really dig into and have a good handle on. She got rid of the jargon. She made finances approachable, even fun.

But visually, she admitted she was dressing in a way that made her completely blend in with her industry. She was following the old rules of wearing a standard sheath dress from M.M. LaFleur. I have nothing against M.M. LaFleur, but they produce a pretty great sheath dress. When you think about the standard sheath dress, you can go get one. They're pretty awesome. But it is a look. It is a conservative and expected look in that particular field that's expected.

She also told me that she felt the need to always add a blazer anytime she wanted credibility, which was when she was on camera for recording videos, when she went live, or when she was on stage speaking or at a conference. It was just like this element that had to be there in order to make her feel like she fit in with the other experts in her field.

So undoubtedly, this brand she had created for herself was one of trustworthiness, one of relatability. She had a unique voice. People were starting to recognize her for that. But at the end of the day, her outfits were definitely not differentiated. She admitted there was a gap there. There was a lack of alignment between how she saw herself in terms of the brand she was creating, but then how that was reflected on the outside.

Erin's story is actually a really great example of having authenticity, which we talked about last week, but not having uniqueness. We'll actually talk about that a little bit more here. But before we get there, I think we need to address a very real truth, a truth that honestly keeps us stuck, a truth that keeps us from actually considering and entertaining this idea of being unique. We all want to fit in. We all want to know we are alike. We all want to know where we have common ground. It's a core human desire. It's a desire I have.

Now, I've worked with many bold women over the years who are not afraid to put themselves out there. I've heard them say things like, "I don't care what people think. I'm at a point in my life where it's just, I'm doing me, and I'm okay with that." But even if we say we don't care what people think, deep down, we care. We feel that sting. I know it because I'll hear them say things to me like, "If I dress up too much, will my team see me as approachable?" Or "I've been told I'm intimidating, so maybe I should just tone it down." Or "My audience that I'm speaking to is going to be dressed down, so I'd better adjust what I'm wearing to make them feel more comfortable." Or things like, will it look like I'm trying too hard? Or if I stand out, will it draw too much attention that I really don't want? Even questions like, "Do I look outdated? Am I looking too trendy? Am I looking too old, too young?" These are all things that are fears that keep us wanting to go back, stay in a comfort zone, to not rock the boat too much.

But this is where I want to pause and offer a reframe. While we are all naturally inclined to want to fit in, again, that's human nature. As a personal brand, a leader, an entrepreneur, a business owner, our goal, if you're crafting a brand, is to stand out. This probably isn't what you want to hear because it means you have to face those fears that keep nagging at you, those ones that I just talked about just a minute ago. But the reality is those fears are keeping you from so much.

I think the irony is that avoiding uniqueness and differentiation is actually costing you. There is a cost to fitting in because that cost might look like you're missing out on a completely aligned client that would be perfect for you and your energy. It might be costing your energy because you're putting so much energy into a version of yourself that you know will make you fit in. It's costing you true connections. It's keeping you from truly being seen.

I did talk about this in an earlier episode where it's like we think we want to achieve the goal and the desire of fitting in by being like everybody, but if you really want to be seen, you have to show up as your authentic self and you have to be differentiated and own it because this is really what we're craving. We're just going about it in the wrong way.

The reason I want to have this conversation and to do this entire series is not just to talk about branding. It's more than that. When you can fully adopt these core pillars of branding, authenticity, uniqueness, and next week, consistency, when you stand out in alignment with who you actually are, you become magnetic. This is something that actually happens on the inside and then can't help but spill out on the outside to others. When all of that comes into perfect focus and alignment is that you attract the right people in your network, you attract the right, whether that's friends or connections, also the right clients, and you repel the wrong ones. Thank God for that.

You feel more energized instead of drained because you're trying so hard to figure out how to fit the code. You're no longer pretending or keeping up a lie. One of my clients, Jessie, a couple weeks ago, she actually used the word liberation to describe what it felt like to allow her uniqueness to shine. That's what standing out feels like. It's funny because we think it's going to feel like a lot of fear and a lot of vulnerability and a lot of bad things are going to happen.

Here's the great news I want you to know. When you are being authentically you, you already stand out. So being authentic in and of itself makes you unique. We were all created by God as unique beings. Now it's up to us to have the courage to let it shine through. We have to be committed to stop hiding, to stop toning it down, to stop withholding because we think it's not good enough. We have to have the courage to let the real versions of ourselves be seen.

While I know we still have to tackle those fears that are going to keep plaguing us, they're not going to stop, about why we can't let our true selves shine, I want you to be encouraged that uniqueness is here for you when you want to grab for it. I believe with all my heart that it will be the thing that unleashes a new level of you and your business when you do so.

So now that we've actually covered both the first two core essential parts of a personal brand, authenticity and uniqueness, I want to show you how they work together, but also how they can sabotage each other. So, for example, if you are differentiated, but you are not authentic, you might look unique and stand out, but people won't trust you. That's where I see the fake it till you make it come in, the performance where you put on a show to get attention or do what you have to do to stand out. But deep down, you know it's not aligned. That will not build long-term relationships. That will not be sustainable because it's pretty exhausting to keep that show up.

But on the flip side, if you have authenticity, but you don't have differentiation, you don't have uniqueness, you might be trustworthy, but then you're also really forgettable. So people may like you, but they may not necessarily choose you. That was where we talked about the example of Erin before. Also Julie, I think, would fall in that category.

But when you combine both of those, when both authenticity and differentiation are on board in full force, that is actually where magic happens. It's where when you go and see someone speak and you're just moved, like you can see them inside out, like there's just total alignment. It's hard to describe even just why you're so drawn to them, why they feel so magnetic. That's what this is.

This is essentially the core of the work I'm doing with my clients because I want to know what's true about you, so the authenticity piece, and I want to pull back the layers of what we thought needed to be true about us in order to be successful or to have achievements or to get where we are. I want to pull back the layers of what we think needs to happen and just come back to the core of who you are. I also want to know what makes you truly unique. Then we make sure that whatever comes out in the way of outfits and your presence reflects both of those.

Because this really isn't about just buying more clothes or I need to look nice or I need to look professional or I need help, my closet's a mess. It isn't just about filling up your closet with more clothes. This is about intentionality with what you decide to wear.

I hope that today, over the course of these last two episodes, you really enjoyed learning about these elements of personal branding. I hope it has gotten you to think about your own presence, where there may be room for improvement or maybe where you feel like you're killing it. Because maybe you're listening and saying, yeah, I got this down. But either way, I hope you have been finding this helpful.

If you are having revelations, you're having aha moments, if you're having questions after listening, I'd love to know what those are. Please message me over on Instagram. My handle is @style.decoded or over on LinkedIn. I'm just there under my name, Ellie Steinbrink. I love hearing from you. I love hearing where this lands for you or what maybe challenges you about this message.

But make sure next week that you come back because we're going to talk about the third and final piece of personal branding that is going to tie all of this together. That third piece is consistency. I know you're going to love this one too. With that, I will see you in the next episode.

Thanks for joining me on The Visibility Shift. If something in today's episode made you pause, rethink, or gave you permission to stop playing small, it would mean so much to me if you'd leave a review at ratethispodcast.com/visibilityshift. Let's make it visible.